undelievered letter

a letter for him :
I know i hurt you , but you still be there for me
I apologized and you accepted it . But, I'm not sorry
I did those things all over again , even I know that's hurting you , deep .
And, finally you can't stand for it anymore
are you tired and sick of all my shit and crap , darling?
the truth is i never meant to hurt you
i swear
i just .. i don't know, I just scared
I'm scared that you will love someone else . I was scared to be broken ..
I know i'm such a JERK
i never knew how much you love me, and how much I need you
until i feel your lost
but, behind my happy face, I've been broken
I'm shattered . I don't want to hurt anymore
that's why i do those things to you
but, I LOVE YOU !
and if that's mean i have to let you go , it's okay
I'm tough :)
as long as it's the best for you
I'm not with you , but I'm still happy for you
I'm okay don't look for me , just forgive me  :)